Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Missing- a Used, yet Beautiful Mind

I believe I have told you my story of waiting to conceive a child. In April of 2006 I felt like it was time to stop preventing pregnancy. Days, weeks, months went by. Tears were shed. Finally in July of 2007 we got pregnant. Looking back on it now it was very much worth the wait, the baby that came after all that waiting was and is AMAZING!

Well, for a month or more now I have felt that it was time to try to have a baby. I told Ken, and he agreed. (Right Sweetie?) My Mom has even commented that based on our experience the last time, we have to start early or Baby J might not have a sibling until he is 5. It has been just over 14 months since our little Baby J was born, which means that I have had a return trip to the doctor, and it had been decided before the visit to the doctor that I would not get a new prescription for birth control. I talked with the doctor about our desire to have another baby, and about my worries that, once again, it would take a long time to get pregnant. She told me that it was fine with her if we started doing some testing now, instead of waiting 6 months. So if I want to, I can go in and get my progesterone level checked. (I didn’t do it this month, but I feel good knowing that the order is out there.)

Now, to the reason for the Post. I seem to have lost my mind, sometimes it is around and working, but many days it is malfunctioning or completely gone! And this has made me wonder, was I like this during those long months in 2006 and 2007? Do I need Hormonal Therapy to be Normal?

Here are some examples-

-I suddenly cannot remember words, or sentence structure.

-I cannot spell my son’s name, even worse than that I spell his name wrong on the back of photos that I then give to my family and they say- “Oh, I didn’t realize that you spelled his name this way”

-I cry, at weird times, and about things that have never brought me to tears before.

-I am tired and cranky.

So, I feel bad for Ken (especially if I was really this way previously), and now for Baby J (because I am sure he would love to have his old mommy back). I hope that this is a new and very short type of PMS and I really hope that I never go through it again. Why, Why are hormones so hard on the mind? ARGHH. .

So, if you see a mind, that looks lost and alone, could you ask it if it belongs to me? I really want it back


Jodi said...

I lost mine years ago and haven't been able to find it yet. If you see if will you hold onto it for me and let me know. I'll come get it as soon as possible.

Jennifer Mosher said...

I haven't done my service for the CO-Op but I totally want to. So let's do it together!