Wednesday, August 13, 2008

All the Answers

Why? That is one of the main questions in my life. Why is life hard? Why do I have to wait for the blessings I want? Why do bad, horrible and tragic things happen to wonderful people? Why? Why pain, why anguish? Why is my baby so itchy? Why? My questions are very rarely answered immediately, but they are answered, to my surprise sometimes decades later.

One of the questions I have asked several times in my life is why are young people taken from this life before they figure out the important things and what happens to them when they die? (I guess it looks like two questions). I have hope, that someday I will be welcomed into the presence of loved ones and maybe even my Savior and my God. But what happens to people who never had that hope, or who lost that hope. What happens to people who die young and are still making lots of mistakes?

My Cousin died while I was on my mission. It shook me. I had questions. The answer I got to the majority questions came from the Book of Mormon. Alma 7:7,11-13. Jesus suffered every pain that we could suffer so that he could know and understand our pains. It answered my question in a very broad way; giving me hope that our Savior understood whatever pain my cousin felt in life and possibly would have to feel after death. It also helped me have faith that the Savior understood my pain too. I felt healing and hope.

When I was about 16 years old a young woman a few years older than me died. I didn’t know her very well but I knew enough to know that she had made some mistakes in her life. I was asked to sing at the memorial service. The song was “The Test”. I have not sung that song since, it does not bring back happy memories, it brings back the question- what happens to people who die when they are young and in the middle of making mistakes?

At church this Sunday there was a special musical number, “The Test”. I immediately thought of this girl from my youth and then to my surprise I realized that the night before Ken and I had been at the temple and this girls name had been on my mind while I was there. I began to cry as I realized that not only was I not questioning but also I was feeling the same peace I had felt while in the temple the night before. In Sunday school we were discussing the Resurrection as Alma taught it to his son Corianton. At a point in the lesson we discussed the spirit world and how there are two areas- one for those who have accepted the Savior and followed his teachings and another for those who have yet to learn about the Savior and His Gospel those people would be given the opportunity to accept the Savior after this life. A woman asked a question about her Grandfather, who had believed in Christ for the majority of his life but at the end had become an Atheist, as the teacher had just stated that only those who had not had the chance to accept Christ would get that chance after death, what did that mean for her grandfather? Her question was basically the same as mine, what happens to people who had the chance to know Christ but didn’t seem to take it? Quickly, very Quickly the teacher said “Bishop?” Our young Bishop gave the same answer that was in my heart.

What was that answer-

Basically, We can never know what is in another person’s heart. Only God can judge, only he knows if anyone of us has truly had the “Chance” to hear and understand and choose for ourselves. My heart felt peace like it never had before when faced with this question, my mind wrapped around it as it finally found something that made sense. These young people from my life, and this woman’s grandfather, they are not lost. In fact from the peace I feel I have a renewed hope that all is well with them, that they have found the same healing and hope that I have felt in my life, through our Savior.

I don’t have All the Answers, I know I never will, at least not while I live. But I do know that there is at least one person out there who does have all the answers, and Today, I am willing to wait as long as I need too for him to answer my questions.

1 comment:

Rachel said...

Your bishop is a wise man. I have to constantly remind myself that I don't know what's in the other person's heart and God will sort it all out in due time.

My mom was telling me yesterday about a woman in their ward who is making some pretty serious mistakes, but she still gets up to bear her testimony. My mom was pretty upset about these seemingly hypocritical actions and I wasn't quite sure how to respond... although she may not be living her life in a manner consistent with what we believe, who are we to question her testimony? Let's just say I'm glad the final judgment is not up to me. :)