Off we go!

We are taking a trip! Going to a Family Reunion. Driving west for 800 miles and 11 hours and spending 4 days with the Wheelers then turning around and driving east for 11 more hours and 800 more miles. All in all we will be away from home for 6 days.

To this date- the baby has spent one night away from home and the longest and farthest he has ridden in the car is 2 ½ hours and 150 miles.

We have been practicing for the past week. The Baby has been fed a few bottles while strapped into his car seat. He has also been sleeping in his pack n’ play for naps and at night, he even wakes up happy! Just in case the first picture wasn't enough proof of the happiness. There are a few things that we just couldn’t practice. Like living in a cabin with 17 children, 16 years old and younger, but mostly younger. How do you practice that?

So, this will probably be our last post for a week, but be prepared we will have plenty to share when we get back!

Picture This

I was planning to take the baby in to have some "Professional" pictures taken- It didn't work out, the only time that we could do it just happened to be lunch time at the Portrait Studio. So I tried to do it myself. Here is a sampling- I think I was able to capture "The Moment".

"Why Yes, I am Adorable"

Disney Channel was on- apparently Pocahontas is very interesting.

"I gave this movie a Thumbs Up"

"Warn me before the Flash please"

"Wait, I still wasn't ready"

"Thank goodness for Tummies"

"We are done now, right?"

Scientific Fact- It is very hard to take a bad picture of a baby

Grandma's Magic

For weeks the baby has not slept well. At first it was because he had learned to roll over and didn’t like to find himself on his stomach in the middle of the night. Flipping him on to his back was all that was needed to calm him and get him to go back to sleep. Then one day he realized that sleeping on his stomach was nice and he did it all the time during nap time and started to do it at night. His Mommy and Daddy could see a light at the end of the sleepless nights tunnel.

But there was an unforeseen bump in the road. At the babies 4-month check up I had a list of questions, one of which was “Since the baby can now roll over on his own, is it OK for him to sleep on his stomach?” The doctor thought for a second and then answered- No, the baby was just too young and still at high risk for SIDS and as stomach sleeping has been linked to SIDS the doctor felt that the baby should not be allowed to sleep on his stomach. The next question was “Well how do I stop him from rolling on to his stomach?” “Wedge him” was the answer. It was soon discovered that the baby did not like to be wedged. He had his own will and he did not like it to be taken from him.

Good-bye light at the end of the sleepless night tunnel. Hello, once again, uncertainty and doubt. Now not only was the baby waking up several times per night but it was no longer as easy as rolling him back over to get him to go back to sleep. Now he had to be comforted, patted, held and even fed. He had not been fed in the middle of the night for months. We didn’t know if what we were doing was right, we didn’t know if we should let him cry and learn to comfort himself or if our efforts to comfort him would teach him that he needed us in the middle of the night, every night, for the rest of our lives. We were tired and the baby was tired and we were all getting quite cranky.

Then came last Tuesday, the day that I went to work. I feared that the baby would not be very nice to Grandma Turner, that he would cry if not held the perfect way, that he would not nap and get even more tired and be even more cranky. But he didn’t.

I believe that Grandma’s have Magic. Grandma’s Magic is very powerful. It calms the fussy babies and helps them to realize how sleepy they are. It’s power lasts long after the baby leaves Grandma’s presence. After work on Tuesday we took Grandma and Grandpa Turner out to dinner, during which the baby decided to take a 3rd nap. After dinner we went straight home, it was getting close to bedtime and the baby was telling us that he wanted more sleep, basically he was screaming. We thought that Grandma’s Magic had worn off, but boy were we surprised!

The baby was changed and fed and put in bed at 7:50. He quickly fell asleep, wedged tightly onto his side. He was asleep in the exact same position 2 hours later when Mom and Dad went to bed. I could not hear him breathing but I placed my hand on his chest and felt it rise and fall. I woke up at 3:45 and was amazed that he had been asleep for so long, and he was still asleep, I don’t know why I woke up but it wasn’t because a baby was crying. Worried that maybe this was not a good sign, I snuck into his room. Once again, I could not hear him breath but a gentle hand on his stomach confirmed that he was still alive. Pleased, I returned to bed. At 4:30 he whimpered long enough for me to go check on him, I gave him a binky and repositioned him slightly and he fell right back to sleep waking up at 6:50, 11 hours after going to bed!

On Wednesday night he was asleep by 7:30. He was still sound asleep when Mom and Dad went to bed. I woke up because the baby was sweetly talking to himself; I found my glasses and looked at the clock- 5:05 AM! Ken and I had slept for 7 hours straight! After talking to himself for 15 minutes the baby went back to sleep until 6:45- so roughly- 11 hours of sleep!

We have gone back and forth between good nights and bad nights since then- one thing each good night had in common, the baby got to see his Grandma during the day that day. We spent 5 hours at Grandma’s house yesterday, and last night the baby slept 10 hours straight! I am not sure how long Grandma’s Magic lasts, but I am sure glad to have discovered it. We leave tomorrow for a Family Reunion in California, I have been scared that the Baby would freak out, but now I am hopeful that Grandma Wheeler has magic too.

Weird

I have been thinking. I think I am weird. I hope I am weird. I don’t want to be like everyone else, and I have definitely never felt like I fit right in with the crowd, well at least not the IN crowd. And while that bothered me when I was growing up, looking back, I have had a lot of fun creating, or at least helping to create, the weird crowd.

Truthfully, I am willing to bet that weird is normal, the majority of the people in the world are probably weird, but we look to the normal and strive to be the normal much more than we should. Today I feel like Embracing ME in all my Odd Duck Glory!

This is me, right now, really I just took this picture. It has been a long time since there was actually a picture of just me, basically because I am the one taking the pictures 99% of the time. My favorite subject is the baby. (P.S. the baby is also weird, but also really really really cute.) But today, my subject is me. I have never felt very photogenic and so many of the pictures of me somehow get deleted, but today, I am going to share this one with the world, that way there is a face to go along with my words. So here goes.

Why I love being weird.

When you are weird, you are allowed to have a personal style. You don’t have to buy what everyone else is buying, or wear what everyone else is wearing. You can be you. You can buy sundresses on clearance at Wal-Mart and wear them everyday if you feel like it, because you like them and you think you look cute.

When you are weird, you can be funny; in fact you can be hilarious. Not everyone will agree with me on this one, but hey that is why I am weird. So, back to the original thought. You don’t have to worry about impressing anyone. Why? Because they already think or know you are weird, and so you can be yourself, you can tell your stories and your jokes and you will discover in time that you are hilarious, that when your friends are in need of a pick me up, they seek you out. Why, because you are happy and there is a pretty good chance that after being with you, they will start to be happy too.

When you are weird, you can enjoy the little things. If you are trying to keep up with the Jones’s, you are probably going to miss out on the fact that they sky today is an amazing color of blue and the clouds are so perfectly fluffy and white that God had to have made them just to make you smile. Weird people are allowed to just sit on a park bench and watch the clouds go by. If you haven’t tried it, you should, it can be quite calming and enjoyable.

When you are weird, you can be imperfect. You can make mistakes. You can admit to fears, frailties and faults. You can do your best to change, and none of this has to be kept secret. That is the best part; you don’t have to pretend to be perfect. This is one of my favorite parts of being weird, and believe me it was also the hardest to embrace. But I don’t mind now if people know that I do dumb things sometimes. I fear failure so much that at times of my life, I couldn’t even begin to try new things. It made me so anxious that I quit school. And quitting made me feel embarrassed and I just wanted to hide. After all, everyone else in the world is perfect, right? Wrong. By embracing imperfection, trying your best to overcome the fears and faults and frailties that hold you back, and letting it be known, you allow others around you to be imperfect too. This leads me to my next and final thought.

When you are weird, you can believe. You can believe in God, you can believe in everyday miracles. You can believe that out there somewhere, in the vast expanse of space there is a Man so powerful that he can not only hear you when you talk to him, but through innumerable ways, he can talk to you, answer you, comfort and guide you. You can believe that along with that first Man, there is a second, His Son. You can believe that this Son of God lived a perfect life, so that you could be saved from your imperfections, and you can believe that it is truly possible that one day, with his help and through the power of his sacrifice for you, you can finally be completely comfortable as you. That, in my opinion, is perfection. After all God created you and as clichéd as it may be, it is still true, he doesn’t make mistakes. I want to be the person he created me to be, I really believe that someday I will be.

So I am weird, and I will stay weird, and I will love it.

A Boy and His food

At the end of May the baby had his first taste of real food- it was a Grasshopper Cookie. According to the Cookie Dealer- the baby liked it. It made for some cute pictures.Last week the baby was given the OK from his doctor to start Solid Food. He is a good eater, savoring each and every ounce of his bottles, sometimes even crying for more. I had a feeling that he was ready for solid foods, he had recently discovered chewing and enjoyed it so much that he had all but given up on pacifiers because they were no fun to chew on. I think my feeling was right.

He started solids on Saturday July 19th. The first feeding went as well as it could go, a spoon, full of cereal, in the mouth, a spoonful of cereal pushed back out. A spoon, half full of cereal, in the mouth, a trickle of cereal out of the mouth, and so on and so forth until we had a cute picture and a baby that was ready for a bottle. During the second feeding I got very good at positioning the spoon so that it would catch the majority of the cereal that would find its way back out. We also realized that the baby needed somewhere to sit while he ate, the corner of the couch just wasn't cutting it. The next Monday he had some more cereal. The baby and I were both learning. This time I made the cereal a little thicker and learned how position the spoon just right. The baby was keeping his tongue down and sometimes even trying to close his mouth on the spoon. Much less food was coming back out of his mouth and he seemed to be really enjoying the food that was staying in, even opening his mouth for more. Tuesday’s feedings were very similar but this time he started to grab at the spoon.
Wednesday the baby caught me by surprise and got the spoon away from me, so I decided while he was distracted I would find the camera. It is kind of hard to feed him cereal with one hand and take pictures with the other, but I did it.
As I hope you can see, the baby likes food.

Back to Work

During the summer of 2006 I told my Boss in Medical Records that someday, after I had started my family, I would be willing to come into work to help out when they were shorthanded, but I would not be willing to work more than one day per week. I was sure that it would be no more than a year, maybe even only 10 months, before I would stop working in an office full time and start taking care of a sweet baby full time. Well I was wrong about the timing of the baby, it was a full year before I became pregnant and so it wasn’t until spring of 2008 that I started my new career as Mom and my new position as a PRN or “As Needed” Medical Records employee.

I was getting a little scared that maybe the office had figured out that they didn’t need me because the baby was 4 months old and I had never been called into work. But it finally happened. At the end of last week they called saying they needed me and yesterday, Tuesday July 22nd, I went to work. I thought it would be hard, I wasn’t sure I was going to have the energy to do it, as the baby was waking up every few hours at night. But Ken, WONDERFUL KEN, took care of the baby on Monday night and let me sleep as much as possible before my first day back at work.

So Tuesday morning came around, Ken had not had a good night, but I had slept well enough that I was actually fully rested when the alarm went off at 5:25 AM! Last week when the Office Manager called to schedule me I told her that I would try to be there as early as I could but that I had no idea what time that would be. I was covering for a coworker who works from 7-3:30 and so I wanted to be there as close to her normal start time as I could. I was ready to go by 6:20, I had a bag packed for the baby complete with 3 changes of clothes, enough food for a few days and as many toys as I could put into a shopping bag. The baby woke up at about 6:30, he had his breakfast bottle and we were off to Grandma Turners house.

I wasn’t sure how it was all going to work, would the baby be confused, would he cry, would I cry? Well it all went spectacularly. At Grandmas house I was trying to explain the suitcase full of items I had brought for the baby and the baby was trying to win over grandma by smiling and cooing. The baby won. I gave him a kiss and told him goodbye and left for work, I missed my baby but I didn’t cry. I got to the hospital at 7:45, not to shabby for a first time working mom. I called once from work and the baby was doing fine, how could he not be fine, he was in the care of a Mother with decades of experience. I am also pretty sure that some Grandma Magic was involved, that theory will be explained later in the week.

At work I did many of the things I love, I sat at the front desk and greeted the Physicians and found the charts they needed to complete. I was able to do some “Super Sleuthing”, as I call it, and locate a couple of hard to find charts. And best of all I was able to show my coworkers and friends lots and lots of pictures of my sweet baby. I had a very good day, it didn’t take to long before I felt like I was right back in the swing of things, but the best part of the day was picking up Ken from his work and then picking up our sweet and well-rested baby! (Like I said, there was Grandma Magic).

Do I want to work outside my home full time? No. Will I enjoy working up to 4 days per month? I think so. Do I enjoy working full time for my Baby? Yes, he is an amazing Boss and I get wonderful benefits.

So what did I learn? I am grateful for the blessing of not needing to work, because I know plenty of wonderful mothers who need to work to keep food on their tables, but would much rather be at home. I am also grateful for the blessing of being able to keep my foot in the door at work so that if the storms of life arise and I need to return to work full or part time it will be a little easier to do. Most of all I am grateful for my amazing and supportive family.

44 Friends and Counting

I have recently discovered Facebook, I have a few friends now too. It has been fun reconnecting with people, I wouldn’t say I have truly reconnected with all of the people who are my friends on Facebook but at least I now know how to find them, and they me, should we want to.

Ken is amazing at keeping in touch with people. I am not. I carry around a little whole in my heart for many friends who I love, but, because of my own actions, have lost touch with. I think some of it comes from the same old insecurities that I have always had.

What could those be, you ask? Well I will tell you, I am hoping that it will be therapeutic. I am very soft, inside me, I am filled with goo, it’s true. Most of the time I am not very courageous and sometimes I am quite shy. I know, you are stunned aren’t you, but I am. I worry that people don’t remember me as a good friend, the way I remember them. And me being me, the worry turns to truth immediately upon entering my brain and so, a good portion of the time, I don’t put forth a very good effort to find people who I have lost.

But now things are changing. I do not have a whole new fabulous self-esteem that allows me to reach out to everyone without fear; I don’t think I will ever be that way and I am OK with that. I am glad that over the past month or so I have discovered that there are some people who have missed me just as much as I have missed them. That, in and of itself, is a confidence and self-esteem booster! I am also glad that I have Ken. I am hoping that, at least with the people that are close enough for us to see and visit with, he will become their friend too and in that way, help me prevent losing them again.

Last of all, I am happy to know that I can change. I don’t have to change everything, I can still be soft in the middle, it is good to be somewhat soft in the middle, but a little less goo would probably be good. I know that I am a good friend; I know that I can make people laugh and that I am a good listener. And I know that many of the things I tell myself, about myself, are not true! Negative Self Talk- Who needs it? But that is a topic for another post. For now, I am happy and telling myself happy things. After all I have a wonderful best friend and husband and a spectacular baby, and I have amazing Parents and Sisters and Friends. What more could a little girl like me ask for?

He Rolls and has Rolls too!

The Baby had his 4 month check up- and the verdict is in- He is PERFECT!

Weight:15# 9oz. 67th percentile
Height: 26” 89th percentile
Head Circumference: 16.14” 26th percentile – that is right, he is humble, no big head here!

Some of the things that make the Baby so Perfect-

He can roll over from back to tummy and has even started to roll from tummy to back- though he only seems to do this second type of rolling once or twice a day and usually when no one is looking.

He can hold his shoulders and head high off the ground while on his stomach

He Smiles and Giggles

He has reaches out for toys

He grabs at fingers and hanging toys and holds on tight
He sings! He doesn’t seem to like lots of syllables, no dadadada momomomo bububu it is more like aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa brrrrrrr aaaaaaaaaaaaa

He can turn his slobber into really frothy slobber by buzzing his lips

He goes down for naps with out crying 75-80% of the time

He eats 6-7 oz ever 4 hours and because of this fact, the doctor said he could start eating Solid Food. (If you are wondering “What exactly constitutes Solid Food?” and you know who you are- for now it is rice cereal- Pictures will be coming as we attempt to eat solid food)

He can stiffen his legs and loves to stand with help

He has such an amazing case of eczema that he gets to go to the Dermatologist!

Hurray for the Babay! (it rhymes)

The Drowsy life, or “My nose hurts. Is it broken? Who broke my Nose?”

The title got you didn’t it. You need to know; you keep asking yourself “Is Kate’s Nose Broken? Who broke her nose?” Well it all started with the exhaustion- I was very tired earlier this week, as you may know if you read the last post. I woke up at 2:40 AM on Wednesday Morning, not because the baby was crying but because several areas of my body hurt, mostly joints- Ankles, Knees, a Hip and oddly my Nose. I took some pain medication; by the time it kicked in the baby was in need of assistance and so I rolled him back over and, pain free, returned to bed and to sleep.

Wednesday found me quite well rested- in fact I only took a short nap in the morning and I was able to run and do some other fun chores. But my nose hurt. It was odd, I am used to the leg pain- any change in weather will make my legs hurt, but my nose, that was just weird. Do you have any idea how much you move your nose during a day? I move mine a lot and each time it moved, it hurt. I wouldn’t mind the pain if there was magic associated with the nose movements. But sadly, no magic, just one hurt nose that moves too much.

Last night as I was getting ready for bed I asked Ken over and over again “Why does my nose hurt? Is it broken? Who broke my nose?" I was asking my self other questions "I don’t remember walking into any walls; do you think that if I walked into a wall or hit myself hard enough, I would forget that it happened? Who broke my nose?” I looked at myself in the mirror and my nose did look a little swollen, and it hurt- right on the bridge and down in the cartilage. Ken must have been saying a silent prayer that I would remember what happened or fall asleep, because that is exactly what happened.

The answer came to me in a flash! On Tuesday I tried to nap each time the baby napped, and before my second nap I tried to do a little reading. Well I was very tired, and for some reason I was holding the book above my head. I remember dropping the book on my head, I was sleepy enough that I gave up trying to read at that point and went to sleep. So my questions to Ken became more specific, “Can a book break my nose?” I don’t remember if he answered, I was asleep pretty soon after I asked. Ken must have a lot of faith.

So here I am, it is Thursday, my nose still hurts, but at least I know why. I don’t think it is really broken- but you never know it does hurt quite a bit. I think I might be the only person in the world who gets attacked by inanimate objects, but hey it is just that kind of week.

The Necessity of Sleep- an ode to napping

There are dishes to be done, counters to be wiped, laundry to wash and fold.
There are flowers that should be watered and miles that should be run, but all that’s been put on hold.

For today we sleep. Yes today we rest. Everything else can wait.
Sometimes you just need to care for yourself and leave all that's left to fate.

The dishes will be there tomorrow. The flowers could possibly die.
The treadmill can’t run away by itself, but I could easily cry.

I’ve seen late hours of the night and heard the early bird sing, just a little too often these days.
But that babies smile and the twinkle in his eyes gives me joy in so many ways.

And so the crumbs will stay on the counter- one more day, the laundry won’t mind the wait.
And my body will rest and my mind will be calm and I know my nap will be great!

_________________________________________________________________

After a week or more of waking to my babies cries several times during the night and then getting up and rolling him back over because he realized that he hates his stomach, I was exhausted. I had become so used getting enough sleep at night and being able to do my daily chores while the baby napped during the day, and it had been such a long time since I had taken a nap when he napped, that it hadn't even crossed my mind that I needed to make up for the hours of sleep I was now missing at night. And so the exhaustion set in, and I became crabby and tired and all the other things I don't like to be. I am sure Ken wondered who had tampered with his wife and turned her into the shrew that kept appearing each evening. But I think I have found a temporary fix for the problem, I can not force the baby to not roll over while he sleeps, and so until he gets used to his new skill and decides that it is OK to sleep on his tummy at night- like he does during the daytime naps.......

(? I don't know what the difference is- but daytime tummy sleep is fine, nighttime tummy sleep is bad ? see picture taken 20 minutes ago)

So, until I get my needed 7.5 hours of sleep at night, I will take naps during the day- this morning I got a 2.5 hour nap, it did wonders for my mental health, I am still not quite sure what day it is, but that is fine, after all that is what email and sticky note reminders from myself and my helpful husband are for. Oh, Yes, When I am sleepy, I tend to be slightly more poetic too. I hope you liked the poem.

The Necessity of Friends and Sunshine

Friends are necessary, old friends and new. Being able to reconnect and strengthen relationships with friends just makes me happy and I think we all know that Happiness is Necessary.

Sunshine is necessary. The baby was born at the very beginning of spring, the grass was green and the flowers were trying to bloom but someone forgot to tell the sun. For several weeks I would watch the news just to see if it was going to be warm enough to go outside, most days it wasn’t and when it was I would usually not remember that it was a warm day until it was to late to enjoy it. Luckily the Sun came back from Vacation and we go out and visit with him quite often. It is amazing what a little sunshine can do.

The Necessity of Scriptures and Learning

Scriptures are necessary. I feel better when I read them early in the day and they give me a little bit of structure because I try each week to finish the section of scriptures that will be discussed in Sunday School the next Sunday. If the Baby wakes up earlier than usual or if I sleep a little late, then he gets to read with me, I think he enjoys hearing my voice because he will sit quietly and reach out and touch the page, it is quite precious.

Learning is necessary, I feel like I have so much to learn, but I don’t feel horribly overwhelmed. I feel like if I put forth the effort I will be able to attain the knowledge I need. I try to read and search for things on the Internet, I ask lots of questions of other new moms; so far I have discovered I have a very unique, smart and fabulous baby.

I have also rediscovered that I like to learn, I love to find out new things I love to feel and see how new knowledge works its way into my life, making it better, helping me to help others. I have rediscovered my love of sociology and psychology as I have tried to learn why my Baby does what he does and how I can help him to learn to do what he needs to do- like nap! I am excited for the future and someday I know I will go back to school, that thought is quite exciting to me right now, I just know I can do it, as long as I remember that I love learning.

The Necessity of Prayer and Cuddling

Prayer is necessary. When we first brought the baby home it was needed almost every hour of the day and night. I was scared, I had no Idea what I was doing, my baby made noises, my baby didn’t make noise, my baby was hungry but my baby would not eat, I was afraid that my baby would never go to sleep and sometimes I was afraid that he would wake up and have needs that I wouldn’t be able to meet. And so I would pray, I would pray that I could be a good Mom and I would feel at peace- I still didn’t know how to be a good Mom but at least I knew that God knew I had that desire, and I knew that he had given me a feeling of peace, and I felt OK. I would pray that my baby would not have problems sleeping, that he would be safe while he slept, I prayed that he would nap during the day and eventually I prayed that he would sleep longer so that I could sleep longer too. Each individual prayer was not immediately answered. But looking back I can say they have been answered, by 3 months he was pretty good at taking short naps during the day and was sleeping 10-11 hours at night, of course there were always one or two little wake ups in the night but he was always able to go back to sleep. The new sleep prayer is that he will learn how to roll back over on his own so that I wont have to go into his room and flip him back over.

Cuddling is necessary, both with the Baby and with Ken. There is just something wonderful about a good cuddle. It says, I love you, you are special, and you mean the world to me. Who doesn’t need to hear those things every once and a while, and who wouldn’t love to hear then every day.

What is Necessary

Days go by in blurs around here. I have to write down the things I want to get done- that way when I realize that the day is passing me by I can look at my list and try to do something. I think Nap should be on that list more often than it is.

Mostly my list looks like this- Dishes, Laundry, clean Front Room, Read. Sometimes it has things on it like- Library, Costco, Gardens, Bills and yesterday it said Bake Pie.

The Baby doesn't need a written list. He is very good at doing what he needs to do each day, his list would look something like this; Eat, Smile, Rollover, Sleep, Rollover while I sleep, make cute noises, wet diaper, Smile, Eat, Rollover, make cute noises, Sleep…… he hardly ever misses anything on his list and sometimes he adds too it. (Like practicing dance moves while he sleeps)
There must be a purpose for the blurring of my days. I figure it has something to do with learning what is important, what is necessary for life to continue on as normal, as well as what is necessary for my sanity to remain intact. Over the next few days I am going to share some of the things I have learned.

But just to start- Hats are not Necessary, especially if they do this to the baby.

Consider the Lilies

The past few days I have been considering the lilies of my life. Last year I planted a lot of bulbs, it was somewhere between 50 and 75, Day Lilies and Gladiolas. I planted them because I wanted beautiful flowers, and sure enough, I got beautiful flowers. As the season ended and fall and winter set in I took comfort in the fact that deep within the ground, my little bulbs would split and prepare for the new year and sometime in the late spring or early summer I would see yet another, and hopefully larger, crop of beautiful flowers. Well the bad news came from the Home Owners Association that all of the flower beds needed to be regraded to help prevent water damage, and during the process all bulbs and plants not approved or originally planted by the HOA would be removed. So a month ago I tried my best to dig up my already growing flowers and transplant them into planters. Well it seems to have worked for many of the lilies, they started blooming this week and they make me smile. The verdict is still out on the poor gladiolas- they have turned brown, for some reason, I don't think that is a good sign.

So this week I have been loving my lilies, and because of them I have been singing the song "Consider the Lilies" to my self quite often. God has created so many beautiful things.

Thinking back on last year at this time, my beautiful flowers got me through many days, when life just wasn't working out the way I thought it should. I really felt like these flowers were a special gift to me from my heavenly father, telling me that I could help him make the world a little more beautiful, even if it wasn't quite the way I had wanted to help. You see, last year I was really questioning why I hadn't been blessed to have a baby, to help make the world more wonderful in that way.

I now know, and even somewhat understand, that it just wasn't time for me to start my garden of children. The perfect time to start that garden was this March, when this sweet little baby was born. As you can see he is definitely blooming and bringing joy and beauty into my life as never before. This sweet angel gives new meaning to the beautiful song I have been singing to myself, near the end it says "Consider the sweet tender children who must suffer on this earth, the pains of all of them he carried from the day of his birth. He clothes the lilies of the field, he feeds the lambs of his fold, and he will heal those who trust him, and make their hearts as gold". I believe this too be true, I know it is true, that I have a Savior, that just as he has created and loves and watches over this beautiful world and its beautiful flowers, he loves and watches over me and my dear husband and sweet little baby. In this life we all suffer, internally we feel emotional pain and anguish caused by our own actions or the actions of others, externally we feel physical pain from many sources. But our Savior knows and understands our pains, each and every one. I know that he can and will heal us if we seek to be healed and trust him and do what he asks us to do. I know because I have felt that healing. I want all those that I love to know this too. I am so thankful that I was given the chance to wait over a year past the time I had planned to start my family, because it gave me the opportunity to once again seek my Saviors help to heal my pain, he told me then that all would be OK, and WOW- Is it. Lets look at this sweet tender child one last time.

OK, Maybe two more times......

And I will end with one more lily, I hope that we all can find something beatiful in the world today, something that whispers to us just how much God loves us, something that helps us remeber what our Savior has done for us. Then I hope that we smile and say a prayer of thanks for that sweet blessing.