So, for a week or more after the second surgery I suffered from a lack of sleep. For a while it seemed like I had my days and nights confused. I napped on and off all day and had a really hard time sleeping at night. I know I am amazingly lucky because Ken was there for me during this time (in fact after one particularly horrible night, when I just couldn't handle it the next day, Ken came home from work at Noon and took care of me, that man is a SAINT, just saying) and we had so many good friends and neighbors who were helping out with meals that we had plenty of food easily available for me to feed the kids when Ken had to go back to work. There was a Jello Salad that the boys LOVED (strawberry jello with fruit, cottage cheese and cool whip, I think) yes, I think the boys would tell you that those few days, while the jello salad lasted, were wonderful.
So, the past few weeks have not been the best, I'm tired, I hurt, I'm bloated and at times I have wondered if there is something severely wrong with me. Luckily, the Internet can sometimes calm fears. (I know from experience that if you go online and enter your symptoms you are likely to discover that you have cancer, turns out just about any symptom you have could be a sign of cancer- who knew?) So, last week I had several days where I felt fine for an hour or two in the morning, then tired, then sore, then gassy and bloated. At this point I feel like I look about 4 months pregnant. By bedtime I was very sore, it hurt to move, to climb in to bed. The only thing I could compare that feeling too was being days away from delivering a very active baby, the feeling of being bruised inside. I wanted to know if this was normal so I googled. I google a lot. I asked the googleverse (I may have just created that by the way, the googlverse! Get it? Like Universe only with Google on the front! Ha, the things I come up with early in the morning when I can't sleep) so, anyway, I typed in "recovery after exploratory laparotomy" and I found that my symptoms were very normal and that I should expect them for a few more weeks......yay? Well, one of the things recommended was to continue to take it easy, apparently just because I feel good in the morning doesn't mean I should jump right in to my daily routine. Unfortunately my daily routine still has to be done.
So I muddle along, doing the bare minimum, once again lucky I have Ken who picks up as much slack as he can. I've started to realize that it is not a sign of weakness to ask for help- and if there should ever be another kitchen flood I've promised myself that I will go find a neighbor to move my fridge, no matter how embarrassing I find the current state of my home. I even reached out recently, asking for help cleaning (the morning after moving the fridge after the last flood, I couldn't more without pain). It didn't work, people are really busy on Fridays I guess, but I was proud that I gave up my pride long enough to ask for help (pretty funny huh, proud of being less prideful). Oh well, someday this whole experience will be a memory. Hopefully I will have learned some good lessons and I will remember that I need to be kind to my body when it is healing. It seems to be a hard lesson for me to learn. I'm sure I am not the only one who has a hard time with this type of lesson.
I feel like I must sound a little bit like Eeyore, and if so, Thanks for listening. I do want to express that yes, it has been hard, harder than I expected, but I've had so many moments when I've been blessed beyond measure that I really can't complain, too much. I hope you have a Happy Sunday! Let's make this next week a great one!