Glimpses

Years ago I had a very special experience. Ken and I were dating, and as we still do, we were cuddling on the couch. I like to put my head on his chest and listen to his heart beat, I remember lifting my head and looking into his eyes. I was overwhelmed with a feeling of love for this amazing man. In just a small moment I felt like I had seen his past and his future, I felt that God was giving me a glimpse of how he saw Ken, I understood just how special he was and would be, forever. I cried. I loved that moment, that Glimpse.

At about 3:50 this morning, I stumbled out of bed to go comfort my son. He is still dealing with the last bits of the viruses that have plagued him for the past month. I was letting him whine, but when he started to cry I went to him. After a diaper change and a bottle, he put his little head on my shoulder and we cuddled on the couch for a few minutes. I thought that he had gone to sleep and so we headed to his room, as I was getting his blankets ready I noticed that he was not asleep, but was looking at me, silently, with a sweet little smile on his face. He didn’t really look like my tiny baby anymore, that sweet little face seemed older somehow.



















So I decided that we could cuddle just a little more before I put him down. I looked over at the mirror across from his crib, I saw myself holding my sweet baby. He is so much bigger than he was when we first brought him into that room, almost a year ago, but he is still so small. And then in my mind I saw a tall young man, he was in a suit, he was distinguished. In that glimpse I knew he was my baby, my grown up baby, I wouldn’t be able to hold him like I was at the moment, but there would be times that he would need his mother just as much as he did now, and he would still put his head on my shoulder and find comfort there. It made me so happy, I felt so much love for him. My baby, my son, someday he would be a man, but he will always be my baby.

He knew I was going to put him back in bed, but he didn’t fuss or fight. I wonder if he had the same glimpse that I did.