That was just after 7 pm. Right before I got in bed my neighbor (who happens to also be my Visiting Teacher) called. She had made some soup for their dinner and she had a lot leftover, she wondered if we wanted any. I started to cry. Yes, we would love the soup, but we could also use some prayers. She promised that she would bring the soup for dinner the next day and that she would also pray for us.
I prayed again, begging God to help my baby sleep, I was so tired, I was afraid I wouldn't be able to take care of her or her brothers if I didn't get sleep. I was scared, so scared about the next day when I would be alone with my 3 children for the first time. I had no idea how I would make it work if I only had 2 hours of sleep again. I took half a sleep aid and got into bed. I woke up when the baby cried around Midnight, she ate and went back to sleep for 3 more hours, then ate and went back to sleep again. It was AMAZING!
Thursday was an amazing day, Friday was pretty great too. I realized I could do this, and I felt, so completely, that I wasn't doing it on my own. My Heavenly Father, he made me Big Enough, Good Enough, Strong Enough, to do what needed to be done. Am I doing everything perfectly? No. Is every moment of our lives blissful? Nope. Have the kind little forest creatures come to help me get the cleaning done? That's a big negatory, good buddy. BUT, I've been able to do what needs to be done, everyone gets to school and preschool, we all get fed, the baby gets held and cuddled and naps and everything else babies need, the laundry and the dishes get done AND sometimes a counter gets wiped down or socks and shoes get picked up! I even get dressed! It's Miraculous! And it's a big big blessing.
I do find that it's really easy to slip back into thinking "I need to DO THIS!!!!! Heavenly Father, you need to make this happen!!!" but when I start feeling that kind of anxiety creep into my mind I try to remember to stop, and ask God to give me the ability to do what HE needs me to do, and he does and I am grateful.