I like to watch the news, both local and national news. I like to hear about what is going on all over the world. This is something I've enjoyed doing since I was in middle school. I give the credit to a social studies teacher who would often assign us to watch the news AND to my Father, who could often be found watching it, which made it easy for me to do that part of my homework.
At this point my thoughts turned to my own mother, who my sisters and I know to be an Angel who has been allowed to live among us here on earth. ( It was right here, at this point in my thought process that I got the call from Ken and my first call was to my Mother. I hoped to be able to have my older boys spend most of the time that Ken and I are away with one of my sisters, so that they could play with cousins who are close to their ages. But my sweet baby will be less than 4 months old and my Mother's home is the place I would be most comfortable leaving her. My mother has been, well, lets say, overrun by grandchildren recently......and that is one of the reasons why I kind of let this blog post sit on the shelf for a few days, I didn't want her to feel like I was trying to "butter her up" because I really feel this way......really!) I'm not saying that she is perfect, but she was and is the perfect Mother for me. And now, I'd like to take this moment, to take a stand here on the internet, to arise, and call my Mother Blessed! I hope that I can be as good of a Mommy as she was and is.
The other day I was holding my sweet baby, it was sometime between 5 and 7 in the morning and she had just finished a bottle and was asleep in my arms. She was so beautiful. I loved her so much that my heart hurt, it felt like it could burst, it was a wonderful feeling. I hoped that she would someday be able to understand how beautiful she is, and how very much I love her, but I knew that I would never, ever in a million lifetimes, have sufficient words to explain those things too her. How could I ever help her understand how precious she is? And I started to cry when I realized that I was once my mothers baby, that she had probably held me in her arms and felt the same hopes and fears. And I realized that all I really had to do was love her and show her by being there for her, like my Mother has been for me.
And so that is the life I choose. I choose to be at home with my children, I choose to try (most days) to be a better homemaker than I naturally am (I'm still kind of waiting for those kind little forest creatures to show up, they never do......but in the back of my mind I hope they will and when they do show up there will be cleaning ready and waiting for them!), I choose to cuddle with my sweet little 3 year old, and read him the same book over and over and over again. I choose to be there when my 5 year old gets home from school so that I can ask him about his day and listen as he tells me about "centers" and recess and the fun things his teacher said and did. I choose to talk to my sweet baby and hold her and carry her around. I choose to teach my children about God and how much he loves them. I'm rewarded for all these choices, and so many more, each day. My reward is found in the laughter of my boys as they play and the fact that when they are sad or hurt they come running, looking for me, because my hugs and kisses can heal them. I'm rewarded by the smile of my baby girl and the gleam in her eyes when I'm changing what seems like the millionth diaper of the day. There are too many little rewards to count.
|(those sweet eyes!)|