Friday, February 19, 2010
Love is not a Victory March...
I don't know about you, but I stalk a few blogs. I don't have a big list on the side of my blog, mainly because I have never figured out how to put one on and also because I don't know the etiquette, do you ask before you put them on your list? But anyway, today, during my blog stalking I cam across this gem.
I love this song, and this is a beautiful rendition. The original song "Hallelujah" was written by Canadian, Leonard Cohen. I point out he is Canadian because it seems like with the Olympics I am hearing this song a lot more.
Through the years there have been many things about this song that have touched me. It makes a couple biblical references, though a couple of the stories seem a little mixed together, after all King David and Samson were different people. But, for the sake of poetry I think that can be overlooked today. Today I want to share my feelings about Love and as such I am only sharing a few random verses of the song.
Baby I have been here before
I know this room, I've walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew you.
I've seen your flag on the marble arch
Love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah
"Love is not a victory march." It is true. Sure the first stages of love, the twitterpated part, it can feel like a victory march, but love is so much more than that. Love, True Love, breaks your heart. It is not bad, not by any means, but it is true that when you love someone you are invested in them so deeply that you feel not only their triumphs but also their despairs and their sorrows. Your heart breaks, over and over again, but given the chance it heals and becomes stronger and your love grows stronger with it.
When I married, I walked around Victoriously, after all, the Amazing and much sought after Ken Wheeler was mine, Forever. But with each passing day, month and year he becomes less my prize and more and more a part of me. My heart feels his pain and when I can not fix it, when I can not make it better I hurt too. Together we suffer and together we heal, I think that is how you become one.
There is something about that last line too, "It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah" that brings to my mind all the prayers and all the pleading that we do for our loved ones, I know God is there, that he hears me and will answer and comfort me. But I also know from experience that in the moment of despair, when I am down on my knees and all I can do is offer up my request, knowing how completely unworthy I am of the miracles I seek, my hallelujah is broken, it is incomplete. Christ completes my hallelujah, he makes up for my lacking and lets the miracles be possible. And that is why it is important for me that Christ and God be part of my relationships, part of my Love. Oh, and Parenting- so very much not a victory march, but that is a whole other post. On with the music, this next verse goes along with my thoughts on prayer but it also brings to minds thoughts of that future day when I will stand before God and Christ, hopefully I will get to sing my Hallelujahs.
I did my best, it wasn't much
I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch
I've told the truth, I didn't come to fool you
And even though
It all went wrong
I'll stand before the Lord of Song
With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah
It takes a lot of trust to Love. It takes a lot of Faith. But that Love, it is a little bit of Heaven. It is a little bit of God. So that is what this song has been bringing to my mind lately. It's that time of year I guess.
And for Ken. I love you. I love you so much. I love you forever and I can not believe that you are mine.