Happy to be Me

I finished a few more file folder games, this one is called "Heart Pattern Match Up" and J is pretty good at it.

I discovered this week that I am ready to be a Potty Trainer. I have the courage! For a few months now we have kept a container of candy on the counter in J's bathroom. He knows the rules, if he sits on the potty for 3 minutes he gets a piece of candy and if he goes #1 or #2 he can earn additional candy. Lately he has been getting 2 pieces of candy quite regularly and over the past couple of days I have noticed that he seems to have control over when he goes. This is one of the main reasons I suddenly have more courage. I also have noticed that he stays drier longer during the day and then gets wetter during long naps and at night- this leads me to believe that he is holding it and then when he is asleep it all comes out. I am tired of changing sheets every-time he wakes up in the morning or from naps in the afternoon. That tiredness lead to more courage. I decided to put him on the potty before he sleeps and last night he sat down and within a few seconds he began to pee! I praised him so much, he was smiling so big! This morning I went to him immediately when he called and put him on the potty and he went again- unfortunately he still needed his sheets changed. Can't win them all.

(Here is a picture of J with the "Tato Head" he built this morning)

So, to continue our story, J went potty at 6:30, he tried again at 7 more to get candy than out of a real need to go. I checked with him every half hour and he told me that he didn't need to go. I asked him to tell me if he needed to go, especially if it were #2, he told me he would, we practiced what he would say. At 8:45 he told me he wanted to take a bath (he had just given his "Baby Elephant" a pretend bath) and so I told him if he would sit on the potty while the tub filled up that he could take a bath. I was really happy because his diaper, the one he had been wearing for 2+hours was totally dry! I was hoping that he would go #2, he didn't. At 9 I put the baby down for his nap and then I heard J say "Uh-oh". I found him standing next to something brown and floaty in the tub. I told him that he didn't get any candy because he didn't go in the potty, he was sad. You win some, you lose some, right?

So here is the plan. We need a chart, some stickers and some pull ups and underpants.

I also need to get the books I requested from the Library- "Danny is done with Diapers" for J and "Potty Training Boys the Easy Way" for me. Then we change the candy disbursement. J will get a sticker to put on the chart if he sits on the potty, an extra sticker and a piece of candy if he goes #1. We will get pull ups! And if he goes #2 he gets to wear real underwear! YEAH!

So how long is this going to take? I hope that he is regularly wearing underwear by his 3rd birthday, which is in 2 months. Can we do it? I hope we can!

Man o'Man, there were a lot of Women....

At Women's Conference that is. In fact I think I heard that it was something like 15,000 of them, but the Marriott Center (which may be the 5th largest indoor arena in North America ) holds close to 23,000, and that place seemed really really full, so it may have been more than 15,000 Women. How do you count that many anyway. Hmmm, but this post isn't to speculate on how many women you can fit into the Marriott Center at BYU. Rather it is a Post about how much fun I had being part of that Gigantic Horde of Women that descended upon BYU last week.

Last year I got my first taste of Women's Conference. I was lucky enough to be able to volunteer there, and when you volunteer for one of the days of the conference you get to attend the other day for free. I enjoyed myself immensely, so much so in fact that I decided to actually pay to attend this year. Last year I attended alone but by some amazing miracle I found a friend who I hadn't seen in years and who, by some greater miracle, was planning on attending the same classes I was! Wonder of Wonders. This year my Sister in Law, Tiff and her Mother, Sisters and Friends all came down and I was invited to be a part of their group. It was a completely different experience than I had last year, but just as much of an uplifting and wonderful experience.

Last year I volunteered on Thursday and left right after I was done, which was around 5 pm. This year I stayed to participate in the service activities and to see the concert that they put on later in the evening. We tied the ends of fleece blankets that were then donated to local shelters, hospitals and care centers. 600+ fleece blankets were made on Thursday night. There were lots of different service opportunities, tying quilts, putting together hygiene kits (thousands of them), and so much more that I can't even remember. Aren't we cute with our blankets.

I never imagined that the Concert would be so much fun. It was an amazing amount of fun, seriously, at least 10,000 women who just participated in a full day of uplifting classes, then hours of service (plus some dinner thrown in there somewhere) found their way back to the Marriott center.....they were not quiet.

I must say that Hillary Weeks is HILARIOUS! She was the Emcee, back by popular demand, and I understand why there was a demand that she be back. Here she is introducing the whole show, the Theme "Laundry", the monologue had something to do with feeling like you are being followed around......see the 5 feet of toilet paper attached to her shoe. I wish I could explain it better, but I laughed so hard during that concert that my abs hurt the next day.
Some other things I learned during the Concert, Michael McLean is also really funny, and apparently suffering from some weird hormonal issues that make him pretty much understand everything a menopausal woman is going through, so he fit right in there at Women's Conference (his words). Alex Boye is seriously HIGH ENERGY. I took some video of him that I will try to post at a later date. The Fab Five (from America's Got Talent) were there too, they also have way too much energy.

On Friday Morning as we were waiting for the morning session to start I looked over and this is what I saw.

It was kind of dark but can you make out the 4 sets of hands, all busy making little "Pocket Hearts" and Crocheted Slippers? Busy hands really do make for happy hearts. I decided that in the next year or so, I want to learn how to Crochet. My Grandma Turner was very willing when I was young to try to teach me how to crochet, but I never got past the "This is my very very long string" phase of the process. I want to learn now, so that in future years I can make slippers too (and so much more, for some reason I really want to make Afghans, you know, blankets?). I made some pocket hearts this year, they are little fleece hearts, we used the blanket stitch around the edges of two heart shaped pieces of fabric and then stuffed them, they were amazingly cute and apparently they get donated to Senior Care Centers and places where people might feel forgotten. The nurses or volunteers at these places can keep them in their pockets and when they feel the need, they can give them to one of the people they are helping. If I don't know how to crochet by next year I will definitely be making more pocket hearts.

I want to go back. It was an amazing experience. I missed my sweeties while I was gone from home, but I felt so good and heard so many things that I needed to hear. Over the next few days I will be sharing some of the things that touched me the most, they are not necessarily big spiritual enlightening things, but things that I know will help me through the next year and maybe they will help you too. So check back soon.

New Music- new to my collection at least

I love music, I used to buy Cd's all the time, but that kind of stopped when I got married, I am not sure why, weird how that happened. But anyway, Ken knows that I love music and he was sweet enough to get me an iTunes gift card for Christmas. As I had fallen out of the habit of purchasing music I hadn't used it yet, and then my Sister A reminded me about a great song, and so I decided I would buy it, and a U2 song I have been wishing I had, and a few more. Here they are.....















.....What do you think? I like them. Very happy with my purchases, but now I think I am addicted to the iStore, must get more iMoney.......hmmm, I wonder where iMoney comes from.

Smell Therapy

Spring needs to come- and it needs to come soon! Until then I will continue my Smell Therapy.

I love Flowers, I love how they smell, I love Lilacs- and I am the proud owner of two of them, When they bloom it is hard for me not to cut all the blooms of the tree and bring them inside. When I served my mission I bought some lilac scented perfume- I didn't know if they had lilacs in Croatia or not, but I knew I needed to smell them, at least few times in the 16+ months I would be there. I am smelling them right now!!! And I love it- Smell Therapy is the BEST!

I am so glad that I hosted a Scentsy Open House last fall, because as I was moping around my house this morning, lamenting the soggy, flowerless world I currently live in, I remembered "I have Springtime Scents, just waiting to be warmed!". The baby (who has earned himself the nickname "Mr. Cranky Pants" this morning) and I ran (and/or crawled quickly) to my secret scent hiding spot (a bag on the floor of my bedroom) and smelled a few of the scents until we found the perfect one-Lilacs & Violets! Just one little square puts out enough spectacular scent to fill the main level of my home. Soon, the baby was ready for a nap and I started on my second load of dishes, (I know two loads and it had only been a day since I did dishes- I don't know what happened). I quickly realized that I was humming a happy little working song and bouncing along joyfully as I did the dishes and thought about all the work I was going to be able to get done. I love Smell Therapy- It has saved my Sanity!!!! (OK, so this picture does make me look like I am slightly insane- but maybe there is a little insanity mingled with every ones happiness.... maybe. And why is my face so red- I must be burning calories while I sing my happy working song! That makes me even Happier, can the day get any better? Can it? Really?)

So, if you, like me, have not been having the happiest of days as you wait for spring to come, I encourage you to try smell therapy- Candles, Scentsy Warmers, anything will work!

If you want to try Scentsy and don't know where to start- you could start here- www.scentsy.com/abbycousineau She is my sister and she is very nice, lives pretty close to lots of you and keeps some items on hand for people who are having scent emergencies.

or here (this one has a list of the items that are on sale and will soon be discontinued

seatsseven.blogspot.com/2009/02/scentsy-fall-2008-discontinued-scents.html

And if you don't have a lot of money right now- host a party- seriously- the hostess gifts are the best I have ever seen (and I have hosted several different types of parties), I got $60 worth of free items- without even buying anything, that would be enough to fill your home with sweet sweet Smell Therapy for every season of the year!!!

If you need proof- come over to my house and see how long it is before you are happy!

The Sweet Swap-2008

We live in a very friendly neighborhood, and as such we have been given lots of treats this season. I don't want to eat them all, for two reasons- 1. If I ate them all I would gain 15 pounds and 2. Some of them are not my favorites. But I also don't want to waste them and so this year I am going to try something new- a Sweet Swap!

We have invited a small group of friends over after dinner on the 26th. The plan is for us all to bring treats that we have received and want to share, i.e. we can keep the treats that they want to keep all for themselves because they are so amazingly yummy, but bring the items they think others might enjoy more than we do. Once together, we mingle, enjoy other peoples treats, have some Hot Cocoa, maybe play some games, but mostly enjoy the company of good friends.

Now I have already royally messed up with the preparations for the inaugural sweet swap, I invited a couple through the Husband and the message didn't get to the wife, and Ken invited some friends and I am not sure the whole premise of the party was communicated to everyone. And as 2 of the 3 couples invited to the 2008 Wheeler Sweet Swap are regular readers I figured I would explain more on the blog. So to those people- Does this make more sense, we are not having leftover Christmas Dinner, just leftover Christmas Treats + Hot Chocolate with Whip Cream? I am super excited for the Hot Chocolate- which by the way is actually a gift from a neighbor- they gave us a huge bag of Lehi Roller Mills Hot Chocolate!

Those of you who might be interested in participating in the 2009, 2010 and 2011 Sweet Swap can make yourselves known now. Any ideas for me about how to make the Sweet Swap better, or explain it to people better? Just as an FYI, the 2012 Sweet Swap is on hold- as the Mayan Calender states that the end of the world will come before Christmas that year, but I guess we could just have the Sweet Swap early that year, just because it is the end of the world doesn't mean we have to waste our treats!

A never-ending need

During Sunday School this week our teacher shared small bit of a talk given by Elder Russell M. Nelson (I think). The talk was about repentance and the fact that it is not needed just once or just for large transgressions, but we should be repenting each day of all our sins, large or small, sins of commission and sins of omission. I must admit, I kind of stopped listening to the teacher because my own mind was flooded with thoughts. I thought about the Psalm of Nephi and I thought about how so many Prophets have warned us not to procrastinate the day of our repentance. And I think I came to a new personal understanding of why repentance is so important and what I am doing wrong.

My ultimate goal is to be something more than I am; eventually, with a lot of help, I hope to be like Christ and like God. I am nowhere near meeting that goal. I know it is possible, in fact I have been given exact directions on how to do it, but like with most things that come with directions, I tend to try to figure it out myself instead of keeping the directions close by and following them closely. But I understand a little more today why I need to laminate those directions then put them on a string around my neck and refer to them several times each hour.

I have always loved what I call the Psalm of Nephi (2 Nephi 4:15-35). At one point he says “Nevertheless, notwithstanding the great goodness of the Lord, in showing me his great and marvelous works, my heart exclaimeth: O wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities. I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me. And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins; nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted.” (17-19)

This man was a prophet of God, and yet his soul was grieved because of his iniquities. I remember the first time I really thought about what he was saying, I was stunned, I knew that a prophet had to be worthy to receive revelation from God and yet there were times that even a prophet felt unworthy, when even a prophet felt that he had sinned. If someone as good as a prophet felt that he fell short, then what was going to happen to me, I make big mistakes. Even though it was more than a decade ago I also still remember the thought that entered my mind while I was pondering this prophets words. I understood for the first time that I and Nephi, and everyone else were all in similar situations; we all have a never-ending need, we all need to rely upon the power of our Saviors atonement.

At first we recognize the huge sins we have committed, they are the elephant in the room that cannot be ignored. By our actions we have separated ourselves from our God and we must repent of those sins to return to our Fathers presence. It was at this point that I also recognized what it truly means to have the Spirit, or the Holy Ghost, to be with me. If I am worthy and repentant the Spirit of the Lord, the Holy Ghost, will be my companion, and if I am in the presence of the Holy Ghost I am in the presence of a member of the Godhead, so in a way if I am practicing for the day that I can be, literally, in the presence of my Savior and my God. It is easy to recognize the Big Sins, usually we knew they were wrong long before we ever did them, but we made our choice and we chose wrong. All is not lost; we know we can repent.

So what happens next? Hopefully we don’t run out and commit more huge sins, but we also know that we are not perfect we are still making mistakes, we still sin, smaller mistakes, smaller sins, but we are still separating ourselves from our God and as such we find that we once again need to repent. And so the never-ending cycle continues. Basically, what I learned from this pondering upon Nephi’s words was this, the more we repent the more we see what we could change and what we could do better. When you are dealing with an Elephant in your living room you are probably not too bothered by the fly on the wall of that room, but once you get rid of the elephant suddenly the fly is very, very annoying. As we repent and become more in tune with the Spirit, we notice the smaller things we didn’t see before. That is what Nephi taught me, to repent so that I can become spiritually sensitive and able to more clearly see what I still need to change and fix and repent of.

Today that teaching mingled itself with the words of many other prophets who warn not to procrastinate the day of our repentance. I knew it was important- after all it takes a while to truly get rid of an Elephant, but it is not just the Elephant sized sins we need to worry about, it is all of the sins, even the little itsy bitsy ones that we can barely see. That is why we cannot afford to procrastinate, because if we do we may not have enough time to become spiritually sensitive enough to even see the bunny sized sins let alone the speck sized ones.

In the end, after all we have done, we are still going to be imperfect, we are still going to have made mistakes but if we have done all that we can our Savior will fill in our gaps and build us the bridge back to our God. I don’t want to get to that day and realize that I have not done all I could have done; I think that would truly be Hell.

The Necessity of Sleep- an ode to napping

There are dishes to be done, counters to be wiped, laundry to wash and fold.
There are flowers that should be watered and miles that should be run, but all that’s been put on hold.

For today we sleep. Yes today we rest. Everything else can wait.
Sometimes you just need to care for yourself and leave all that's left to fate.

The dishes will be there tomorrow. The flowers could possibly die.
The treadmill can’t run away by itself, but I could easily cry.

I’ve seen late hours of the night and heard the early bird sing, just a little too often these days.
But that babies smile and the twinkle in his eyes gives me joy in so many ways.

And so the crumbs will stay on the counter- one more day, the laundry won’t mind the wait.
And my body will rest and my mind will be calm and I know my nap will be great!

_________________________________________________________________

After a week or more of waking to my babies cries several times during the night and then getting up and rolling him back over because he realized that he hates his stomach, I was exhausted. I had become so used getting enough sleep at night and being able to do my daily chores while the baby napped during the day, and it had been such a long time since I had taken a nap when he napped, that it hadn't even crossed my mind that I needed to make up for the hours of sleep I was now missing at night. And so the exhaustion set in, and I became crabby and tired and all the other things I don't like to be. I am sure Ken wondered who had tampered with his wife and turned her into the shrew that kept appearing each evening. But I think I have found a temporary fix for the problem, I can not force the baby to not roll over while he sleeps, and so until he gets used to his new skill and decides that it is OK to sleep on his tummy at night- like he does during the daytime naps.......

(? I don't know what the difference is- but daytime tummy sleep is fine, nighttime tummy sleep is bad ? see picture taken 20 minutes ago)

So, until I get my needed 7.5 hours of sleep at night, I will take naps during the day- this morning I got a 2.5 hour nap, it did wonders for my mental health, I am still not quite sure what day it is, but that is fine, after all that is what email and sticky note reminders from myself and my helpful husband are for. Oh, Yes, When I am sleepy, I tend to be slightly more poetic too. I hope you liked the poem.

The Necessity of Friends and Sunshine

Friends are necessary, old friends and new. Being able to reconnect and strengthen relationships with friends just makes me happy and I think we all know that Happiness is Necessary.

Sunshine is necessary. The baby was born at the very beginning of spring, the grass was green and the flowers were trying to bloom but someone forgot to tell the sun. For several weeks I would watch the news just to see if it was going to be warm enough to go outside, most days it wasn’t and when it was I would usually not remember that it was a warm day until it was to late to enjoy it. Luckily the Sun came back from Vacation and we go out and visit with him quite often. It is amazing what a little sunshine can do.

The Necessity of Scriptures and Learning

Scriptures are necessary. I feel better when I read them early in the day and they give me a little bit of structure because I try each week to finish the section of scriptures that will be discussed in Sunday School the next Sunday. If the Baby wakes up earlier than usual or if I sleep a little late, then he gets to read with me, I think he enjoys hearing my voice because he will sit quietly and reach out and touch the page, it is quite precious.

Learning is necessary, I feel like I have so much to learn, but I don’t feel horribly overwhelmed. I feel like if I put forth the effort I will be able to attain the knowledge I need. I try to read and search for things on the Internet, I ask lots of questions of other new moms; so far I have discovered I have a very unique, smart and fabulous baby.

I have also rediscovered that I like to learn, I love to find out new things I love to feel and see how new knowledge works its way into my life, making it better, helping me to help others. I have rediscovered my love of sociology and psychology as I have tried to learn why my Baby does what he does and how I can help him to learn to do what he needs to do- like nap! I am excited for the future and someday I know I will go back to school, that thought is quite exciting to me right now, I just know I can do it, as long as I remember that I love learning.

The Necessity of Prayer and Cuddling

Prayer is necessary. When we first brought the baby home it was needed almost every hour of the day and night. I was scared, I had no Idea what I was doing, my baby made noises, my baby didn’t make noise, my baby was hungry but my baby would not eat, I was afraid that my baby would never go to sleep and sometimes I was afraid that he would wake up and have needs that I wouldn’t be able to meet. And so I would pray, I would pray that I could be a good Mom and I would feel at peace- I still didn’t know how to be a good Mom but at least I knew that God knew I had that desire, and I knew that he had given me a feeling of peace, and I felt OK. I would pray that my baby would not have problems sleeping, that he would be safe while he slept, I prayed that he would nap during the day and eventually I prayed that he would sleep longer so that I could sleep longer too. Each individual prayer was not immediately answered. But looking back I can say they have been answered, by 3 months he was pretty good at taking short naps during the day and was sleeping 10-11 hours at night, of course there were always one or two little wake ups in the night but he was always able to go back to sleep. The new sleep prayer is that he will learn how to roll back over on his own so that I wont have to go into his room and flip him back over.

Cuddling is necessary, both with the Baby and with Ken. There is just something wonderful about a good cuddle. It says, I love you, you are special, and you mean the world to me. Who doesn’t need to hear those things every once and a while, and who wouldn’t love to hear then every day.

What is Necessary

Days go by in blurs around here. I have to write down the things I want to get done- that way when I realize that the day is passing me by I can look at my list and try to do something. I think Nap should be on that list more often than it is.

Mostly my list looks like this- Dishes, Laundry, clean Front Room, Read. Sometimes it has things on it like- Library, Costco, Gardens, Bills and yesterday it said Bake Pie.

The Baby doesn't need a written list. He is very good at doing what he needs to do each day, his list would look something like this; Eat, Smile, Rollover, Sleep, Rollover while I sleep, make cute noises, wet diaper, Smile, Eat, Rollover, make cute noises, Sleep…… he hardly ever misses anything on his list and sometimes he adds too it. (Like practicing dance moves while he sleeps)
There must be a purpose for the blurring of my days. I figure it has something to do with learning what is important, what is necessary for life to continue on as normal, as well as what is necessary for my sanity to remain intact. Over the next few days I am going to share some of the things I have learned.

But just to start- Hats are not Necessary, especially if they do this to the baby.